I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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