I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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