Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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