I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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