I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
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He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
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oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize