yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i was born a porn star she said
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
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And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
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I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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