He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
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