Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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