Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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