I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Im part way to drunk.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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