woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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