I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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