If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
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She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
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they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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