why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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