So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
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i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
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