Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize