I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
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I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
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So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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