She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
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Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
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I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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