is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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