I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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