I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize