I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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