Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize