Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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