true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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