my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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