it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
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