May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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