How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize