dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize