So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize