totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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