he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize