I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
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I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
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We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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