Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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