WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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