boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize