I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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