Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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