hotel room ftw
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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