There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She even gives head with a lisp.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
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Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
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I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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