i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize