My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
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His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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