My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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