i don't like sucking hair
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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