i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
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