I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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