I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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