Texts From Last Night

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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.

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  (989): Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother. http://tfl.nu/be9n
  Replies (86) Good night (3853) Bad night (7466) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.

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  (248): Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night. http://tfl.nu/k6rq
  Replies (32) Good night (4206) Bad night (715) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..

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  (586): he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today.. http://tfl.nu/ftkb
  Replies (36) Good night (732) Bad night (10559) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......

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  (651): I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me...... http://tfl.nu/ywt3
  Replies (72) Good night (803) Bad night (4779) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.

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  (206): He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears. http://tfl.nu/u9sm
  Replies (20) Good night (1930) Bad night (3382) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.

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  (973): A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ. http://tfl.nu/a72f
  Replies (6) Good night (5467) Bad night (884) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.

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  (773): Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up. http://tfl.nu/ll85
  Replies (7) Good night (5861) Bad night (1073) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had

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  (902): you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had http://tfl.nu/lpp3
  Replies (9) Good night (3314) Bad night (624) Order T-Shirt
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".

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  (620): The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices". http://tfl.nu/jiwo
  Replies (23) Good night (4830) Bad night (1022) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor

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  (765): The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor http://tfl.nu/xtoh
  Replies (7) Good night (2486) Bad night (724) Order T-Shirt
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  (980): View more from North Carolina

  It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.

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  (980): It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire. http://tfl.nu/zb3d
  Replies (3) Good night (1949) Bad night (901) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.

  (785): View more from Kansas

  When were you at my house?

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  (913): I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home. (785): When were you at my house? http://tfl.nu/k6cm
  Replies (5) Good night (2769) Bad night (639)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"

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  (816): You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?" http://tfl.nu/o1ln
  Replies (10) Good night (1704) Bad night (530)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."

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  (269): My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night." http://tfl.nu/krw1
  Replies (6) Good night (1542) Bad night (578) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like

  (972): View more from Texas

  Why do you text me weird shit like this?

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  (214): True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like (972): Why do you text me weird shit like this? http://tfl.nu/hcc5
  Replies (5) Good night (936) Bad night (237)

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