The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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